Alchemy

Shadows casted by indifference
The lack of white noise coming through
I knew I was missing something
Too broken to admit it’s you
I’ve tried to communicate my concerns
But I can’t break through to you
I can’t even pick up my own feet
Weighted down by grains of sand
I reach out to arms of strangers
To feel some sort of responding touch
I wonder how you rest at night
How do you wake every day
The equations not that simple
Divided by subtraction.
Multiplied by me when there’s no you
The answers don’t come that easy
I can’t reach to you
Woven into your alchemy
A man with sickened mind
You wore a face so different
Id rather hear you raise your voice
Then shut me down where I stand
I guess what makes me most angry
Is you know me when I’m stripped
You know all my weaknesses
The things that I fear
I’ve told you all my secrets
And yet you eased them all so fair
Now I’m left to untangle
The mess of memories
And they’ll all look at me
As if I am the crazy one
I’ve screamed to you
I’ve begged for you
I’ve pleaded now
For something to grab onto
While I’m dying in your war
While they all start their screaming
As you release my hand
Your heart has no meaning
my tomorrow, nevermore

understand that I am scared
To let you hurt me like they’ve done
These scars across my chest
Is the proof that love decays
I was trying to mend my brokenness
a promise you secured
Now here I am in the ocean
Standing naked and afraid
Because now the silence settles
And it’s time to move again
You let your demons steal you away
And there’s nothing I can say
To bring you home
You are a liar
And you’ve made a fool out of me
You opened up my bleeding heart
And forsake it in spite of me
You let your black mind
Steal you from your heart
And there isn’t anything
I can do to save you
Cuz all I have for now is a broken heart
But you’ll have nothing but yourself
No one else to shoulder the blame
Fickle in your wisdom
Beaten down by your despair
You had a good girl who loved you..
And you shattered her tiny heart…

And when they start their screaming …

nightfall; im dying once again.

i dont want your saving.

id rather fucking bleed.