Wasted (rough edit)

And then I wake up sober.
Still in my clothes from the night before.
I would get out of bed but I slept on the floor.
My head it aches like vodka
My breath smells like disgrace
Who did I go home with
To try and fill your place.
I’m clinging to a notion
All my thoughts of you.
the next 8 hours go by in slow motion …
Everyone talking
but I don’t hear a thing.
I swear I’m going home to sleep it off…
And here I am again.
My thoughts choke the air right from my lungs.
This room feels like a tomb
Fast forward and I’m here again
I get high again to make it go away.
And for a moment I forget
That I am broken all the time.
I feel so much of nothing
But it’s not you again.
I try to act like I don’t mind
Like it’s fine it it really is …
But who the fuck am I kidding..
I’m wasted again
I’m tripping into the bathroom
My friends laughing in the stall.
Everyone is doing blow…
And I’m making the call.
I know that you won’t answer
But I’m not in my right mind
Maybe I’ll catch you in a moment
even if I did what would I say.
I drink away the thoughts of you
I try to flood you in my mind
Tomorrow I’ll wake up and regret this
Just like all the nights before
He is just my distraction
From all the things you are.
All I have is nothing
But a drink waiting at the bar.
It makes it feel alright again
It covers up the stains
I can’t even stand up straight
Or remember his name.
I came here to forget it
But it’s not working anymore
I can’t keep you off my mind
Checking my phone incessantly
Maybe you’ll be on the other end.
And the later it gets the more I feel alone.
I’ll go home and sleep it off…
Tomorrow it will be the same.
I can’t get drunk enough
To forget you anyway..
I can’t stay high enough
To ease all of the pain.
I’m a beautiful mess
And I’m trying my best..
Swallow all my thoughts of you…
They’re just floating in my chest.
And then I wake up sober..
I can’t live like this.