Changing colour

The leaves are changing colors
As September has it’s stay
The air is getting cooler
And I can feel it in my bones
Something in me was dead wrong.
But I chose to ignore it all along.
The leaves are changing with the seasons..
As I lay my love for you to rest.
There are things I cannot change
And I think a goodbye is best.
My heart fills up with hope
And god I’ve used it.
And I’m making this choice
To leave it.
The wind sends shivers down my spine
And as I woke this morning..
I got the answer I’ve been begging for
But got distracted by the time.
I was waiting up for you..
But I was worried about me too..
I lost it all on you.
I loved you like a house on fire..
I wanted to bring you back to life.
Now all of this forsaken..
And all of it in spite..
As October makes it way into the weeks ahead..
I’m sure I will be just fine..
I know with time..
A fickle thing..
Things that left the bruises …
Slowly lose their ache.
The scars will form with time to come..
I’ll be fine I knew I was.
And it will lose it’s luster
But I won’t lose my shine..
I just wish you had told me …
Because now it all seems like a line..
June was beautiful —
Colored with greens and blues.
Just like the seasons change
So did you…
And I’ll always sing your song
When I hear anathallo
Or when I see a pale pink sunrise
Alone at 5am.
But you’ve been gone so long…
And I’ve had to fill up all the cracks of you…
With pieces of myself …
there wasn’t much to grieve..
And the leaves are changing colors
As Septembers stay is over due
A whisper with goodbye
I just hope you know —
I loved you..
I hope you know I tried.

Bleak

Where are we in moments like this
Everything can change
With a hard violent twist
Voices you’re throwing
Are pursing their lips
June was so good to me
July I am heady
August turned to ice
I’m scared of the night
When my heart has a chance
To catch up with itself
I’m perpetually moving
Through the hours in days
Where are you when everything
Has shifted in space
He tries to comfort me
Tell me you’re gone
Convince me im trying
To break from your spell
But I find no comfort
In someone else’s arms
I can’t be enchanted
By another mans charms
You’re just enough
To miss like hell
This tired old tune
I hum in my sleep
To lull my aching mind
So much effort to sleep
Half hearted memories
Are fading away
Colloquial truths
As they are starting to fray
Can’t you reach out
With three little words
we are okay
Are you tired of me
The silence we leave here today
Is permanent in tomorrow
And before it’s too late
And you drown in the sorrow
I’m fighting to believe
In the words that you said
That you’ll disappear
And go off in your head
That maybe you’re damaged
But I didn’t care
I told you I loved you
Id always be there
How far can I push it
Before I’m left with no air
My friends they keep asking
What you’re doing out there
And I just smile
And hide my despair
I tell then you’re beautiful
Like I always do
The distance is helping me over
The fact that you’re here all the time
I can barely remember the sound of your voice
The embrace in your arms
It wasn’t my choice.
Monday I thought of you
I smiled through tears
That welled up in my eyes
I thought I might call you …
But we both know
I won’t get you on the line …
It’s been this way for weeks now
And it’s starting to burn
Cuz you’re enough to miss like hell…
But eventually I’ll stop ringing the line
Sending you letters
And trying to find …
The voice on the other end
That Once was my friend
I’ll stop seeing the good in you
I’ll forget all our love
I’ll move away from you
The story of my life
Memories of pictures
As they slowly fade
Become nothing but distance
That neither of us could save
You wouldn’t let me
You wouldn’t let yourself
And eventually we will be
Another story on a dusty shelf
I’m sorry I wasn’t enough
To save you from yourself …