Corrupted

Milky incandescence..
A shallow hole inside my chest.
nothing lasts forever..
Glitter on the chandelier..
Walk these frozen streets.
You call and I would listen.
I was all id ever be.
I spent my moments heaving through corrupted lungs.
Counting indiscretions that would only make me bleed.
silent in my ocean heart..
Heavy on my gilded feet.
There was no coming down
From this high once I got you in my blood.
I’m ripping through scar tissue
I’m running in my sleep.
my lungs full with posion.
wrapped in lace sheath.
I heave through the water
rough under my teeth.
a heart is such a fragile thing..
Never made to keep.
Swelling in my veins..
It makes it hard to sleep…
I’m drowning in your secrets..
decaying where we sleep.
restless disposition.
Despite my softened knees.
Scars in shapes of names
blood stains on your cheek.
Familiar with this silence..
What else could I have done..
You were busy leaving..
I was heaving through corrupted lungs…

Small things.

Your words collide with my heart.
Slam into my shins like a swell.
I stand here bleeding.
And spend my time on everybody else.
I sit here soaking in apology..
I am sorry for myself.
Foolish disposition..
Not ready for the change.
Everything is shifting.
All the small things.
Like the flecks inside your eye..
The coarseness of your hair between my fingertips.
Maybe it was something
That was never good enough
You play the victim in your own murder…
As if you’ve been wronged in vein.
And it’s all the small things
That gather at my feet..
You’re shallow like the puddles
From a soft echoing rain.
I knew you would..
But I can’t shape the madness
I can’t color in your lines.
All these small things..
They gather around me.
Like when I need your solace
And you cast silence over me.
Beg for understanding
But I’m drowning in between.
Aloof and slowly distanced
You walked out on me.
I pick up the pieces …
And I collect what’s left of me.
And all these small things.
Have forsaken me.
I was sorry love
I was sorry for loving you.
For breaking my own heart
While you hold it as it bleeds
All these small things..
Have gotten much too big for me..
And now all these small things
Have made it too dark for me to see.
All the small things
The words you lay on me.
The excuses that you believe
All these small things..
Have destroyed you and me.

Changing colour

The leaves are changing colors
As September has it’s stay
The air is getting cooler
And I can feel it in my bones
Something in me was dead wrong.
But I chose to ignore it all along.
The leaves are changing with the seasons..
As I lay my love for you to rest.
There are things I cannot change
And I think a goodbye is best.
My heart fills up with hope
And god I’ve used it.
And I’m making this choice
To leave it.
The wind sends shivers down my spine
And as I woke this morning..
I got the answer I’ve been begging for
But got distracted by the time.
I was waiting up for you..
But I was worried about me too..
I lost it all on you.
I loved you like a house on fire..
I wanted to bring you back to life.
Now all of this forsaken..
And all of it in spite..
As October makes it way into the weeks ahead..
I’m sure I will be just fine..
I know with time..
A fickle thing..
Things that left the bruises …
Slowly lose their ache.
The scars will form with time to come..
I’ll be fine I knew I was.
And it will lose it’s luster
But I won’t lose my shine..
I just wish you had told me …
Because now it all seems like a line..
June was beautiful —
Colored with greens and blues.
Just like the seasons change
So did you…
And I’ll always sing your song
When I hear anathallo
Or when I see a pale pink sunrise
Alone at 5am.
But you’ve been gone so long…
And I’ve had to fill up all the cracks of you…
With pieces of myself …
there wasn’t much to grieve..
And the leaves are changing colors
As Septembers stay is over due
A whisper with goodbye
I just hope you know —
I loved you..
I hope you know I tried.