In the stillness, we were moving.

it doesnt matter the stillness that fills your trembling heart.

the cracks fill up like renegades rushing worlds apart.

for you i was your solace when you were coming through the dark.

and i always counted laughter like the measures from a song.

and i always lent you my heart when yours was twisted up into a mess.

counterpart the heavy – blood leaking from my chest.

holding on like mortar – gilded by a metal vest.

and it didnt matter silence, it didnt matter smoldering holes.

not the lesson you had looked for when you were 18 years old.

my finger tips are heavy drag my nails into the earth.

slowly like a swell, then gone all at once.

it doesnt matter the stillness that leads us far apart.

the water fills your lungs heady with a days last goodbye.

you smoked all of my cigarettes as we sat down on that pier.

i close my eyes where i stand.. and still the moment is so clear.

and i search inside my guileless mind. i rack my heart for reasons.

maybe too drunk off the wine – maybe it was the way your laugh reminded me of mine..

and it all happened in the stillness, your soul latched onto mine.

and we didnt matter in the stillness. caught up in the commotion of a rhyme

and even when you’re out in California chasing commas like they’re dreams

and we matter in this stillness. like matter as we move.

and like stardust in my fingers, you and i we’re magic.

we were magic you and me.

Changing colour

The leaves are changing colors
As September has it’s stay
The air is getting cooler
And I can feel it in my bones
Something in me was dead wrong.
But I chose to ignore it all along.
The leaves are changing with the seasons..
As I lay my love for you to rest.
There are things I cannot change
And I think a goodbye is best.
My heart fills up with hope
And god I’ve used it.
And I’m making this choice
To leave it.
The wind sends shivers down my spine
And as I woke this morning..
I got the answer I’ve been begging for
But got distracted by the time.
I was waiting up for you..
But I was worried about me too..
I lost it all on you.
I loved you like a house on fire..
I wanted to bring you back to life.
Now all of this forsaken..
And all of it in spite..
As October makes it way into the weeks ahead..
I’m sure I will be just fine..
I know with time..
A fickle thing..
Things that left the bruises …
Slowly lose their ache.
The scars will form with time to come..
I’ll be fine I knew I was.
And it will lose it’s luster
But I won’t lose my shine..
I just wish you had told me …
Because now it all seems like a line..
June was beautiful —
Colored with greens and blues.
Just like the seasons change
So did you…
And I’ll always sing your song
When I hear anathallo
Or when I see a pale pink sunrise
Alone at 5am.
But you’ve been gone so long…
And I’ve had to fill up all the cracks of you…
With pieces of myself …
there wasn’t much to grieve..
And the leaves are changing colors
As Septembers stay is over due
A whisper with goodbye
I just hope you know —
I loved you..
I hope you know I tried.

Wait.

I long for a soul
Who sees the beautiful mess I am
I long for a soul
Who hears the song in my heart
And sings it back to me
I long for a soul
To grab me by my insides
And shake me to my core
I long for a soul
Who looks at me and sees mortar
I long for a soul
Whose hands burn across my skin
I long for a soul
Who dances by a flame
A soul who looks like magic
And answers to my name
I long for a soul
Who gets drunk off words like wine
I long for a soul
Who wears nothing on their feet
A soul who can stand in silence
And yet somehow they still speak
I long for a soul
Who rambles on topic of gypsy tales
I long for a soul
Who will set me on fire and shower me with rain
I long for a soul
Who radiates with courage
And convictions of the strange
I long for a soul
Who is weird like circus show
I long for a soul
That throbs with passion unmatched
Bewilderment and Damaged
I long for a soul
A soul that looks like me.