Stood

I stood in the shower
Until the water ran cold against my skin..
I stood there with this feeling.
One I’ve held so many times before.
But I didn’t understand it..
It all came back to you.
I stood there like the water
Was going to sew up my broken heart.
Like maybe if I stood there long enough..
I could save it from a break..
I stood there staring at the water running down my skin..
I stood there feeling nothing..
And I stood there just the same.
Nothing coming out..
Nothing going in.
I stood there frozen in my chest
Everything feels like pain..
Maybe it’s the way I’m living..
You give me nothing yet I stay …
Your goodbye sounded sheepish
the whole thing swallowed me in..
I stood there waiting to feel something…
Inside my burning lungs..
I stood there waiting for that moment
Where I cave in my chest..
But nothing felt like something
When not one thing is all I had…
I stood there naked in the shower
Water creasing my skin..
Running down my shoulders ..
Down through my toes..
I stood there..
Empty.
Waiting for the tears..
I stood there for the longest time..
Tracing every part line of you
I could smell you
I could feel you
I could taste the morning on your kiss..
I stood there holding myself up
Against the tiled wall
Waiting for the break
To catch me if I fall…
I stood there in the water
Cold against my skin..
It reminded me of your love…
The love you could never give..
Because I’m as broken as you think you are..
But I would never break you because I could…
But yet I stood there waiting…
Put it back in your hands if you would…
And still I can feel nothing..
Try to convince God just to change you…
And there’s nothing left to save…
I just stood there…
I just stood.